Friday, February 24, 2012

My Favorite Topic. Me!


A few months ago I made an offhanded comment on this blog that I’m an amazing conversationalist, and did so again on Wednesday’s post. I figured that if I were to keep making that claim then I better see how it goes. I started to ask my wife, but decided that would be a huge mistake, she seems to think that I’m a great conversationalist as long as the other person doesn’t talk back. A point I happen to agree with most of the time, depending on the company. However, when she says it somehow sounds like I’m the one with an issue.  
My favorite character on Cheers was always Cliff Clavin, the guy was just soo interesting. When my wife explained to me that I’m pretty much a real life version of Cliff, I was thrilled at first, and wanted to offer that up as evidence of my amazing verbal skills, but she’s informed me that the rest of the world might not find that as endearing as I do.  So I’ve amended my self-image a bit. I may not be as great a conversationalist as I thought, but if you liked Cliff from Cheers, then you might like me.
Anyway, all that was just a segue into this: I got tagged.
I can think Trisha at WORD + STUFF for that gift. I always am amazed when I stop by her place to visit, she’s always somewhat disappointed in her productivity, yet she manages to be orders of magnitude more productive than I do. Looks like, if I read her post correctly, all I have to do is talk about myself some. Um, I can do that. Hell, that’s kind of all I do. But, to follow the format she sat out in her post.
6 things about me.
·         I’m an amazing conversationalist. Wait, have I mentioned that? Maybe if I keep insisting that it’s true people will start to believe me. Hey, I can’t be the only guy in the room that wants to talk about how the angle of the tip on Spock’s ears changed from episode to episode on the old Star Trek, I mean, who doesn’t want to talk about that?
·         I think about death more than I should. Actually, I probably think about everything more than I should. Weird. But each time I am about to leave the house to drive anywhere, before I get in my car I tell my wife and kids. “As you know, I might be dying later, as I have to drive to the grocery store. If I don’t return, please do the following…”
·         I believe that the most vocal people usually have the least interesting thing to say. Also, I’m an amazing conversationalist and sometimes have to get pretty vocal about it before other people finally realize it.
·         When I was a kid, I had no idea that Superman wore an ‘S’ on his chest. I thought the image was formed by the bright yellow portions of his insignia. I had no idea what it was supposed to be, I thought it was kryptonian letters or something. When I began attempting to draw him, I created the S by drawing the negative space around it.
·         I’m pretty sure that upper management types at large corporations and people that hold high ranking political positions (Senators, Congressmen, etc) are sociopaths. All of them. I also think that people with a moral compass generally don’t do well in their attempts to gain power because in order to obtain it, they have to compromise their moral code. It’s complicated. I probably shouldn’t have even bothered to bring it up. Just take my word for it.
·         Finally, every year that I bothered to dress up for Halloween, I went as the incredible Hulk. Why? Because we shared the same physique. All I needed was little green body paint and people thought the comic book was brought to life. Also, I think the biggest fit I ever threw as a child was when my mother bought me a Frankenstein costume for Halloween. Hello? That isn’t the Hulk. If memory serves, the hulk costume was the Frankenstein costume, minus the neck bolts and forehead scar. However, at the time it went from being something I was proud of to something I was too embarrassed to be seen it. If my mom would have just let me take my shirt off and paint myself green everything would be fine. But she was afraid I’d get cold. Whatever, I was the friggin Hulk, I could handle a little cold weather.
And there you have it, a glimpse into the soul of silent stranger. If only Clint Eastwood would have answered such questions about himself when he traveled as the man with no name back in the day it probably would have saved a lot of bloodshed.
I’m supposed to select six people to pass this too. The passing it along generally is the most stressful part of this sort of thing for me. As some people think it’s an insult to be selected, while others might feel left out. So, if you’re reading this, and you want to answer some questions about yourself, then you’ve been tagged.

15 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I think you're an excellent conversationalist!
And you're right about the moral compass, which is sad.
Now, if you don't return, what would you like for me to d?

Uncle Grumpy Bulldog said...

So when you leave do you always tell your kids, "Avenge me!" like Hamlet's father?

You'd probably win every game of this board game called "balderdash" where you're supposed to do a Cliff Claven and make up stuff about whatever word you pick from the pile of cards or whatever.

Huntress said...

i am a crummy conversationalist. But a helluva listener.

There. I've spilled my guts.

Regarding Halloween costumes:
Ack. TMI. Now the mental picture of you Will. Not. Go away.

Christine Rains said...

I like Cliff. I'm not a great talker, but I love to listen. I think about things way too much as well. Now I'm thinking about all the things I could type right now that I really shouldn't.

Tonja said...

I think you are exactly right about sociopaths in power positions.

I was always the drummer from Kiss for Halloween. Every year I offer to paint my kids' faces like Kiss for Halloween - for some reason they always say no. Huge bummer for me.

John Wiswell said...

I'm pretty sure some wacky version of the Superman story has the 'S' shield being his family crest that just looks like one of our letters. Your childhood self is safe!

Stephen Tremp said...

I agree about the sociopaths. That's why I rarely use nice people in positions of power. They are almost always nut cases who have lost their marbles long ago. Great to know you a little better Rusty.

Jay Noel said...

Cliff was my favorite character too. I know several "Cliffs" in real life. They can talk about anything.

Weird about Superman's S. I was the same way too. And I bet I can still draw the S without drawing it. The hardest "negative space" part was the one with the half arrow and roundish part...you mess that part up, the whole thing just doesn't work.

I dressed up as Gene Simmons a few years in a row. I think I did it because my mask scared the hell outta the other kids.

Briane P said...

I feel like if you and I were in a room, Rusty, we would each end up hating each other -- because I view myself much the same way you view yourself.

But, then, I view you as more interesting than me, so it's entirely possible that I would just shut up and listen about the Vulcan ears thing. I never HAVE shut up before, but it could happen.

I'm in a position of power, though -- I'm one of the bosses at my work now, and I have successfully convinced the boss of bosses to be nicer; he's implementing a plan today wherein you'll get a shiny new dollar coin everytime you stop in his office (for complicated reasons, this is a good thing), so I don't consider myself sociopathic.

People are in power because we let them be in power. Over on Offutt's blog I made some over the top political comments, so I'll continue that rant here: If there are sociopaths in Congress, or heading Bank of America, it's because we let them be there. We're lazy and won't do a damn thing if it requires more than clicking "LIKE" online. When Netflix raised their rates less than the cost of living, billions of people rose up in Internetoutrage and dropped their subscriptions, because all they had to do was click.

But when the states and Obama administration recently let banks use money that never existed

http://www.nonsportsman.com/2012/02/giving-banks-pass-using-money-that.html

To claim to have resolved the housing crisis and then governors took the little bits of money that was supposed to help and used it to balance budgets instead, what happened?

People reported on Ryan Braun getting off on a technicality.

When Bank of America threatened to raise their fees on ATMs, people dropped them and they backed down. That was great, because it was something people had to do physically and I got hopeful that people would do more of it. But then 92% of Republicans couldn't bother to get to the Missouri caucus and so we're still saddled with Rick Santorum as a candidate because the 8% of people who got up off their asses propelled him forward.

Almost everyone gets what they deserve. What pisses me off is that I am getting what OTHER PEOPLE deserve.

Sorry to rant. No, wait, I'm not.

In closing:

Wookies.

Andrew Leon said...

I tend to just let other people talk if that's what they want to do. However, I would point out that monologuing is not conversating.
Just sayin'.

To go one from what Briane was saying: People tend to not want to be leaders. Not want to be responsible. People are, on the whole, sheep and will follow anyone who wants to lead because that's easier than taking personal responsibility. Even if the person they're following is bad or evil or just making bad choices. At least, if they are following, they can say "hey, I was just following; I didn't know."

Michael Offutt, Tebow Cult Initiate said...

I can see how you wouldn't see the "S" after seeing how much you like yellow. With such an attention to obviously your favorite color, you wouldn't be drawn to the thing formed by all that yellow but instead just see the yellow as the dominant color.

Chris Fries said...

Excellent post!

You're absolutely one kick-ass conversationalist, sir! Well, at least in the written monologue-ish sense of 'conversation'.

And who the Hell doesn't want to discuss Leonard Nimoy's prosthetic ears???

New follower here...

Donna Hole said...

I see you made it back from the grocery store one more time :) I hate grocery shopping.

........dhole

Danette said...

I was thinking a bit along the lines of Briane and had a song running through my head while I was reading your rambling post, Cli-- oops, I mean Rusty. The song is 'And they call it Democracy' and there is one part where the words are "One see the paid-off local bottom feeders passing themselves off as leaders kiss the ladies shake hands with the fellows open for business like a cheap bordello" That is not to say they are psychopaths but that we do rather deserve what we get because we won't get up off our asses and do anything differently. I think I'm going to post the video...

boopia said...

well, i have actually spoken to you Rusty and you are definitely a brilliant conversationalist!