The Habits of a Super Successful Reviser

JK ROWLING ONCE SAID something about Harry Potter. I don't know. I'm told that having the first few words of a post be something search engines like helps draw traffic to a post. We'll see.

Regardless Saturday, Jan 25, 1:02 p.m. eastern time. I've been working on yet another revision of my never to be finished novella/novel (it's really close here) and I figured I'd take a break to show you how hard it is to actually revise something.

9:22 a.m. - I awake. Extremely late for me. I have been sleep deprived for weeks and it's finally caught up with me. I'd intended to have been working on my revisions for at least since 8 this morning. I'm already behind my daily goal.

9:26 a.m. - Crap, I remember that my son has to be at work at 10 this morning. No point in starting now. I decide to read instead.

9:46 a.m. - Double crap. I remembered I was supposed to have awoken my son. Who didn't get off work until 12:30 a.m. the previous night. I wonder if this is entirely legal for my underage son to work these hours. I decide to not rock the boat, but wake him up.

9:52 a.m. - How it can take a kid an hour and a half to get ready for school, but 6 minutes to get ready for work, is beyond me. We drive to his work in a blinding snowstorm, it's actually very pretty. The snow is like sand blowing across the road. It doesn't snow here that much, and we almost never, ever get the super cold, sand-like snow.

10:10 a.m. - I'm back. The wife is up. I tell her not to disturb me, I've got revisions to do. I also promise her that this will all be worth it when the sales of this book are bringing in an extra $5k a month.

10:12 a.m. - I recall that I haven't checked my sales totals recently. I take a peek. Turns out I have sold a copy of War Angel recently. Somehow, my least favorite story written continues to make consistent sales. Albeit, very slow sales, but still, much more consistent than my other stories.

10:16 a.m. - I look at story, I have characters working on a log cabin in the 18th century wilderness. I realize that they have no access to things like nails, or metal. I had already described a door and wondered how it would work with no hinges. Decide to look up building techniques for colonial era cabins.

10:33 a.m. - I've somehow ended up watching a video of a baby polar bear taking its first steps. It's so cute.

10:55 a.m. - Twitter is very interesting this morning. Did you know JFK's last words to his wife were something along the lines of "Don't wear those glasses."?

11:16 a.m. - Realized being alone in the house with the missus is an opportunity not to be wasted.

11:18 a.m. - Back at computer. Ready to work. I haven't had breakfast yet. I decide on a V8. Trust me, it's the calm before the storm. I'll probably eat a whole camel and 17 decorative soaps before the day is over.

11:24 a.m. - Back to story research. So, I've decided that the cabin was made in the Swedish style. I decide all that door description has to go. No hinges, no sophisticated tools to craft anything that intricate. Unless my tough guys can punch a piece of wood until it agrees to become a working door it won't be happening.

11:26 a.m. - I'm pretty sure I missed something with the research. I decide to go back to make sure I'm not missing something.

11: 34 a.m. - Hey! Someone posted a comment on my post at the Indie Writers Monthly blog from early this morning (it was scheduled already, I didn't work on it this morning). I check it out.

11:37 a.m. - Comment isn't that special. But then I get a vague sense of guilt because I should have commented on some comments somewhere. And then I wonder if I've visited back everyone I was supposed to this week. I decide there's no time like the present.

11:51 a.m. - I'm so hungry. But can't worry about that now. I have a story to work on. Except, I'm not sure I can focus on a story without eating. It is almost lunch time. I've decided to go get a hamburger when...

11:52 a.m. - My mother calls and volunteers to make a stew for lunch. It sounds amazing and invite her over to use our kitchen, because I'm lazy. Also, I can work on my story while the wife and the mother cook. It reminds me of something else I learned the other day, the Old English for 'Bride' means cook. I remind my wife of this.

11:53 a.m. - My jaw hurts. Wife disagrees with history.

12:02 p.m. - Wife decides to take nap. Probably in retaliation to the 'bride' comment. My stew will have to be eaten later.

12:26 p.m. - I realize I have no idea where the past 24 minutes have gone. Then I remember that I used my phone to surf the web and check emails and twitter. It's all identical in content to my computer, but formatted differently. Don't ask me to explain it, it's a mystery to me why I can lose 20 minutes this way. Stupid phone.

12:28 p.m. - Am worried that story protag is way too passive. His call to action comes near the story's climax. I realize I've no hope of telling *this* story any other way. After two plus years of work, am thinking of chucking it.

12:34 p.m. - Can't chuck it. I've sworn I'm doing this. I'll just make this character aggressively passive. You know, I don't know. I suck. I hate writing. I should watch a movie.

12:45 p.m. - Tweet something about the day's productivity:

Oh, I've been writing all morning. Total words: 0. Websites visited: 31
— Rusty Carl (@Rusty87d) January 25, 2014

12:55 p.m. - Realize that I have no posts of my own scheduled for the upcoming week. Remember that I enjoy doing these diary posts, and decide to take a break from working and work on this instead.

1:57 p.m. - I've still not eaten. I've been doing this post for one hour. Mostly fact checking. Did I really comment on a blog at 11:34? The timestamp on the blog disagrees with me. Whatever. Screw that. I'm telling you I did do it at 11:34. Done.

AND THAT MY FRIENDS, is exactly why I love doing revisions, and why it's been this one story for the past 2 plus years.

"Hmmm... a 2000 year-old demon falls in love with a 16 year-old girl.  Science tells me the plot is perfect."