If You Are a Turkey, Let Me Start By Telling You How Sorry I Am

For those of us here in the States, it's Thanksgiving. A day that was ordained long ago that we must eat Turkey and watch football. Funny, I really don't like Turkey. Don't know why we eat it so much this time of year, they're difficult to prepare and are often dry, breeding grounds for bacteria, and of course, make me sleepy.

What I find interesting is that they have been bred to have such large breasts that it encumbers their ability to live a normal life. Yes, those butterball turkeys are so malformed that they can no longer breed in nature.

Every turkey in an American supermarket was artificially inseminated. Every. Single. One*. Because they literally, cannot do so on their own - they're too big to have sex. In fact, forget sex, many of the Turkeys sold in supermarkets are so large that they can't even walk.

With a name like that, it's hard to say no.

I mean, they don't even taste that good. That's what gets me. Granted, I have had one or two amazing birds over the years, but I don't want to appear to be waffling on the issue. I'm making a stand. I'm going to buy what is called a 'legacy turkey.' That's a bird that has been allowed to be breed naturally, one that is several times smaller than the typical thanksgiving bird. Because I'm a good person, it's important to me.

Well, hang on. Some of them can cost up to $9 a pound. WTF? Forget it then. I'm not going to pay $100 for a skinny bird. I don't care that much.

Enjoy the holiday folks. I'm thankful for much. Be happy.

*That's totally untrue. I'm just trying to make it more black an white here. You know, for drama.  But most of them are.