Thursday, November 24, 2011

If You Are a Turkey, Let Me Start By Telling You How Sorry I Am

For those of us here in the States, it's Thanksgiving. A day that was ordained long ago that we must eat Turkey and watch football. Funny, I really don't like Turkey. Don't know why we eat it so much this time of year, they're difficult to prepare and are often dry, breeding grounds for bacteria, and of course, make me sleepy.

What I find interesting is that they have been bred to have such large breasts that it encumbers their ability to live a normal life. Yes, those butterball turkeys are so malformed that they can no longer breed in nature.

Every turkey in an American supermarket was artificially inseminated. Every. Single. One*. Because they literally, cannot do so on their own - they're too big to have sex. In fact, forget sex, many of the Turkeys sold in supermarkets are so large that they can't even walk.

With a name like that, it's hard to say no.
I mean, they don't even taste that good. That's what gets me. Granted, I have had one or two amazing birds over the years, but I don't want to appear to be waffling on the issue. I'm making a stand. I'm going to buy what is called a 'legacy turkey.' That's a bird that has been allowed to be breed naturally, one that is several times smaller than the typical thanksgiving bird. Because I'm a good person, it's important to me.

Well, hang on. Some of them can cost up to $9 a pound. WTF? Forget it then. I'm not going to pay $100 for a skinny bird. I don't care that much.

Enjoy the holiday folks. I'm thankful for much. Be happy.

*That's totally untrue. I'm just trying to make it more black an white here. You know, for drama.  But most of them are.


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

At least you intended to make a stand!
Yeah, scary what they do to the animals. I only eat it once a year, and then turkey soup at some point with the leftover carcass. (I don't make it - my wife does.)
A little turkey, some olives, and football, and I am good to go.
Happy Thanksgiving, dude!

Dr. Grumpy Bulldog, PhD of Awesomeness said...

Someone sent me a NY Times article about how they're breeding bulldogs to look more bulldog-y and how that creates health problems for the animals. It's kind of disgusting really. Then again I'd rather just eat chicken. Not that they'd genetically modify those...LOL.

Tonja said...

I was vegetarian for a few years before my last pregnancy and the creature inside me demanded beef. I felt bad for my turkey today. He was delicious and perfect, but I will resume vegetarianism once he's devoured.

Susan Gourley said...

I still live far enough in the country that I can go to a farm and pick out a turkey. I like Turkey but we only have it about twice a year.

Andrew said...

I have a (true) story about wild turkeys coming up. And, since we got our dog, we've been reading a lot of stuff about dogs, including the breeding of French bulldogs that Dr. Grumpy mentions. They also have to be artificially inseminated (most of the time) because of breeding.

You have a thanksgiving message over on my blog.

M Pax said...

Animal husbandry has gotten a bit out of hand ... and food production.

I eat mostly vegetarian. I did make a good turkey though. :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Briane P said...

Reading this late -- but you and I DO listen to the same podcast, don't we. I found that story amazing.

Cindy said...

It seems that most people I know only like to eat turkey once a year. Also there are some wild turkeys where I live. Once in a great while they wander into the backyard. Although free, I can't see myself plucking feathers.

Laila Knight said...

OMG, I feel so sorry for turkeys now. Have you ever watched that show, Dirty Jobs? He went to a farm to inseminate turkeys at one time. It was too darn funny. But hey, there are women who get artificially insemintated too. As for being a breeding ground for bacteria...that explains what happens on day 2 of Thanksgiving.

Have a great day. :)