Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Year in Review - Before Christmas!


Yes, most people save their best of lists for the week after Christmas, well, I'll try to have a real one (or two) next week, but for now. Just a few thoughts about the year in review.

Just a thought about the year, for me, it's been a year of trivia. One of the things that makes me born to be a writer, and an amazing conversationalist, is my encyclopedic knowledge of trivia. Not for the sake of anything except for the fact that I love knowing stuff. Not real knowledge of course, you know, like how to fix a car or fix a leaky faucet, but knowledge like knowing rhubarb really means 'barbarian food from near that river in Russia'. 

What else did learn in 2011? Lots of stuff. According to my research (meaning, it appeared on my ‘what your poo is telling you’ desk calendar), the world’s oldest known joke, appearing in some sort of archeological find, goes like this:

“A young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap”

Huh. I hope that isn’t the best the ancient world has to offer. I’m sure if the person writing that down knew it would have been discovered again four thousand years in the future they would have at least tried to make it funnier. I mean, I was pulling off better jokes than that when I was like, five years old. Lame.

But reading about that made me think of another piece of trivia I’d heard, this one was from some scientist guy who said the oldest recipe we've ever recovered was a recipe for Beer!

Oh, and of course, that figures. The oldest written records we have of humans daring to write down their abstract thoughts are recipes for homemade beer and fart jokes.

I was sorta aghast at the thought, then I realized that if some far future archeologist turned up some computer hard drive of a typical person from today, they would probably find it full of porn and cat videos. Then I was more aghast at what a future person would learn about us, I mean, we haven’t just been recycling fart jokes and alcohol recipes for the past 4000 years have we?

Well, when a coworker took a look at the cream cheese cupcakes with chocolate pudding on top that we had yesterday and made a poop joke, I thought the answer has to be yes, because that’s just what we do.

Anyway, I wanted to do a year in review, but found out that I have nothing to review, as I don’t pay that much attention to things as they happen. So here are a few items that I remembered that I think happened this year.

1)      There was some sort of natural disaster made worse by people doing something they probably shouldn’t - People shouldn’t be messing around with the fires of creation. Or, rather, they need to give it its proper respect. A tidal wave striking Japan in the way that it did might be a once a century sort of event, but so what - engineer your NUCLEAR facilities to handle those once a century cataclysms… especially if you expect to use the facility for several decades.

2)      The TV show, The Six-Million Dollar man, yes, it was about a cyborg that battled bionic bigfoots and insane Venusian probes, but in 2011 I looked for it on Netflix and could not find it… I’m not sure who to be angry with, I want to see Steve Austin use his awesome car phone to talk to his boss.

3)      I tried to watch Stargate the TV show, I watched season 1, and a few episodes of season 2. It was hard for me to watch, real hard. I’ll in 2012 to make it through season 2.

4)      I did watch the first 5 seasons of Psych, best show in the universe.

5)      I saw movies at the theater, but I don’t remember any that were so good I might need to force my grandkids to watch them when I’m an old man. Am I forgetting any? I liked the Marvel movies, I liked Cowboys vs Aliens one, all in all, I was a bit underwhelmed.

6) I've realized that outside of writing, reading, and pop science, I have no idea what happened in the world in the past year.

Maybe next year we'll all be jazzed about The Hobbit coming out.

15 comments:

Grumpy Bulldog, Secret Agent said...

You can buy the Six Million Dollar Man on DVD from Time Life if you really want to watch it.

Michael Offutt, Supra-Genius said...

I watched that Hobbit trailer at midnight about five times. And tonight at midnight we get Prometheus...so excited for that.

Briane P said...

This is the best year in review I've read yet -- it's actually "Civilization In Review," which you must be uniquely qualified to do, what with your awesome conversational skills and all.

Why are you FORCING yourself to watch Stargate? If I have to force myself to do it, it's work. People keep telling me "You've got to read 'Dragon Tattoo' etc." and when I say "But it's boring" they say "Oh, if you work through the first 300 pages it gets much better."

WORK is what I do so that I can have a part of my life which is NOT WORK. Once WORK creeps into NOT WORK, well, what's the point?

Now I'm off to tell some beer and fart jokes.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Porn and cat videos - scary, huh?
Dude, Stargate is pure genius. Great stories, awesome characters, and cool special effects. You have to get through the next season. We really need to talk, as your lack of faith in Stargate disturbs me. (Wonder if I can reword that to include a Star Trek reference as well?)
However, you are a Psych fan. You've been redeemed.
And next year? I'm stoked for the Hobbit right now! Can you believe it's been ten years since Fellowship came out? Whoa...

Cindy said...

I feel about the same as you about not knowing what went on...although I remember a few things.

The Golden Eagle said...

I really want to see The Hobbit!

Andrew Leon said...

Dude! You didn't mention the release of Dead God! Or the cover of House! Or that other piece that you got paid to do (that I still haven't seen)! How can you review your year without even mentioning those?

I bet that's one of those "you had to be there" jokes. I bet, then, it's really funny.

Briane P said...

If you like winning, here's an easy one for you: Heather is having a contest:

http://mydemonspirits.blogspot.com/

To write a Xmas story in 500 words or less. You can enter until the 31st. Right now I'm winning, which isn't fair because I didn't even follow the rules. Which means pretty much any story you write is going to win. You could write "Christmas" 500 times in a row and beat me, and probably that would win some sort of literary award because we live in a stupid postmodern age. But I'm serious: Go enter! When people hold contests, we should enter, and everyone's got one Christmas story in them. Here, I'll get you started:

1. An elderly woman finds a mysterious package under her Christmas tree on Christmas Eve. She lives alone, and it's signed "From Santa."

2. A spaceship lands in Bethlehem on the night of the first Christmas.

3. Two boxers in the locker room talk about the fight they just had and their plans for Christmas.

Come on, get writing!

Jay Noel said...

I think 2012 might be a better year for movies. We have the final Batman and then Hobbit.

I never gave Stargate a try - and I'm pretty sure I'm missing out. I know I'll get hooked, though.

Speaking of 6 Million Dollar Man, yes I owned the action figure (the big doll) and his capsule. It was cool. Wish I still had that those toys.

Nancy Thompson said...

Happy holidays, Rusty!

icedgurl said...

trekking your superb blog! keep blogging and inspiring people! happy holidays!

cheers!
...TREK...

Super Happy Jen said...

I'll have to check out Psych. Always looking for good shows to get into. I enjoyed the Muppet Movie, but I don't know if that's your style.

Stephen Tremp said...

I'll go see the Hobbit again. And Stargate was fun to watch. I need to rent the entire season and watch it straight through.

Melissa Bradley said...

I love Psych! Hilarious and smart. I am trying to get myself together for the New Year, but since it's probably going to end anyway, will the work be worth it? I should just go for it, 2012 could turn out like that evangelist guy who thought the world would end in May, then he miscalculated, then it was...oh I forget now. We're still here and that's the point.

Danette said...

Looking forward to The Hobbit. I hope they do it justice!

Happy New Year and best wishes to you in the coming days. Hope we all find success with our writing projects!