Friday, March 16, 2012

Comment of the Week! Plus Other Stuff!

I apologize to everyone who visits today that is not Briane Pagel. Because it increasingly seems like he is taking up my spare time. Sigh. Sorry, everybody else, but today I talk about him again. For a couple of reasons.

First, he left this little gem of a comment last week.

Funny stuff. In addition to that, he has been running a Star Wars trivia contest that has, well, suffered a bit from an overabundance of Andrew Leon - as he threatens to win by such a large margin that I'm pretty sure Briane is looking for ways to give out points to anyone who isn't Andrew.

Case in point, he's created a Star Wars Fan Fic Fan Fic and is giving away bonus points for it. Sweet. I need those points because much to my consternation, 'Wookies' is not the answer to every single question. Dammit. I'm like the Hulk that way, he tries to resolve all his problems by smashing things, I answer every Star Wars related trivia question by shouting 'WOOKIE.' Go figure.

So, his rules dictate that I must write a story about one of my characters from a WIP of mine writing a fan fic about Star Wars in 250 words or less:


Todd leaned back in his barstool, almost to the point of tipping, and stirred his flirtini – his *apple* flirtini - with its skinny little straw. “Did you read it?” he asked.

I nodded. “Yoda does Yavin. That’s clever.”

He curtsied a bit. Weird how he did that. He looked like a medieval warlord transported through time and planted here in the bar. Big, beefy arms, nearly 300 pounds and way over six feet tall. He was a monster of man – but he hated stereotypical drinks. He’d never have a beer, an ale, a red wine, or anything that made him look like a brute. It was… disconcerting how he felt about his image.

“Did you take notes?” he asked.

“Leia, Padme, Chewie, Luke, R2, The Emperor… C’mon. This is just stupid. The Emperor, R2?”

“I think R2 could serve as a pleasure bot in a pinch.”

“Right. Sure.” I started to say something, continue the conversation, drag it along until he had said his peace. I’m sure he thought he was saying something insightful about the nature of love, of how the Force represents some metaphysical truth about how the universe operates, but I couldn’t do it.

I leaned forward and put my elbows on the pub table, Todd was still making the ice tinkle with his teeny little straw and frowning. He had this ruddy complexion that always made his cheeks glow red, like he was angry.

“Todd,” I said. “A guy in a fedora keeps looking this way.”


That ought to about cover it. Go check out the latest in his trivia contest, which is 100 questions in 100 days.


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

You went for the weird - I like that!

Matthew MacNish said...

Haha! Oh man that was fun. I'm off to check out this contest.

Grumpy Bulldog, March Madman said...

Yeah I bet R2's got all kinds of neat little toys inside him. No wonder Luke kept him so long.

M.J. Fifield said...

All right, I'm not anywhere near being a Star Wars fan but I really enjoyed your story.

Briane P said...

First off, now I am going to have confused feelings whenever I look at R2 in the movies. I'm picturing him right now, wearing that little metal bikini... beepboopbeep...

*where was I?*

This was awesome, Rusty, and not just because you mentioned my name a lot. You get the 100 points, plus the 5 points for mentioning the blogathon, PLUS both you and MacNish get 50 points for the referral. I've updated the standings accordingly.

~Sia McKye~ said...

They say we all march to a different drummer. I like your drummer, lol!


M Pax said...

I ran across his blog yesterday. Wish I had found it sooner.

R2 as a pleasurebot in a pinch. I named my printer R2D2, because it makes beeping noises.

Michael Offutt, Tebow Cult Initiate said...

Todd is not a very star warsian name. Maybe if you'd called him Mos Todd or Jabba the Todd.

Michael Offutt, Tebow Cult Initiate said...

And yes...I think you should have those in a story you are writing just to throw readers off.

Andrew Leon said...

That was awesome.
Briane's everywhere today, evidently.

Angela Scott said...

Wookie is my go-to answer, too :)

Sylvia Ney said...

New follower here. I'm trying to get a head start on visiting my fellow "A to Z"ers. I'm really enjoying your blog and sense of humor/voice. I look forward to visiting again.

Nancy said...

Yikes I always saw R2 as kinda childlike, ewww.

Cindy said...

Now this is something I would've never thought