Monday, November 7, 2011

I Want A New Body

I went to the doctor the other day, I have to go every six months in order to get my medicine that continues to keep me alive (relax - I have high cholesterol), and while I was there I tipped the scales at a good 204 pounds. Five years ago I was freaking out because I was one 165. Two years ago, not too long after I started this blog, I was tipping the scales at around 175. I've been creeping ever closer to enormous for a few years now. Looks like it's time to get radical.

That gastric bypass thing has been around for a few years, nice, but not for me. The problem is that it doesn't really give you immediate results. You still have to actually lose the weight. Way too inefficient.

See? I trade body "A" for body "B"
No, I am looking into a body transplant.

Yes, I had heard about the experiments done, mostly during the 50's and 60's, where assorted animal heads were detached from their bodies and either A) they were kept alive without any body attached, or B) they just attached it to something else and kept it alive that way.

It wasn't until this weekend when I was researching* for my Nano novel that I saw photographic/video evidence that this happened. It's as surreal a moment as I've ever seen. Then I was hit with the epiphany that they already have the technology, it's decades old, why not use it as a weight loss program?

You know, get fat, trade in your flabby body with some young, fit person who will take it (and money) and they hit the gym. Everyone wins.

Anyway, all kidding aside, do yourself a favor and check out the video. It's a 15 minute documentary about that whole head transplant rage that swept cold war era scientists for a time. Looks like the U.S. preferred using monkeys/apes for research while the Russians preferred dogs - just like the space race. I'm a huge fan of science and I hate to criticize folks in the pursuit of knowledge, but seriously, did anyone at all consider the ethics of this sort of thing?



*meaning, I was avoiding writing.

12 comments:

Tonja said...

Maybe less risky to eat some vegetables and do some light exercise, might just be me. :)

Rogue Mutt said...

I'd love to be only 204 pounds. That stomach surgery doesn't really work. My brother got it like five years ago and now he's as big as ever. The problem is that the surgery doesn't fix your head. We like to simplify and say, "Just put down the fork!" but really overeating is a dependency like alcohol or drugs or nicotine. Surgery and liposuction don't cure that.

Gail said...

I think I will pass on the transplant project. I would rather find a way to put my mind a completely new vessel.

KarenG said...

Oh man the creeping weight gain! Take it from me-- easier to deal with it when it's ten pounds instead of fifty. My husband and I are on a serious plan. So far he's lost 52 and I've lost about half that.

Michael Offutt said...

/hugs. I think that the first step into getting a handle on weight is awareness that there is a problem. As we age we can't eat and be inactive like we might have done in the past and get away with it. I support you in being able to move past this and get on the right track to the new body you deserve.

Andrew said...

You know, I don't think that was a time when "ethics" were considered at all. Science was the ethic. I was just reading an article this morning about the eugenics programs in the US in the 50s and 60s and the repercussions that are still ongoing.
As far as the weight goes, take sugar out of your diet. Worked for me.

Cindy said...

Yes, I know it's not easy. What I try to do is cut back on food gradually, so gradually that hopefully I don't notice it.

julie fedderson said...

Wow, this video disturbed me. Pretty sure no IRBs were involved in these experiments. The dog one is just sort of horrifying. It just makes me want to know at what point do we accept our mortality? I understand that there are principles in these experiments that may aid those with cord injuries and brain trauma, but sometimes I feel there's got to be a better way.

I keep a calorie diary. It's amazing the amount of calories I can suck down if I'm not cognizant about it. Plus, I like to eat whatever I want and if find it easier to eat less of it and not ban it completely.

M Pax said...

OK, those were freaky experiments. I need to look those up.

Regular exercise is the main key. Do something you can tolerate and enjoy. Whatever you decide, make it a permanent correction. So, make decisions you can live with.

L.G.Smith said...

It's true, we can't eat like we did when we were kids anymore. I keep trying to tell my husband this but he sticks his fingers in his ears and starts singing lalalalala. BUT, being a guy he can usually burn off the extra weight pretty fast with exercise. The workouts get his cholesterol numbers down too.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I've been where you are - you can make the changes necessary to lose it again. Because really, you wouldn't look good with a monkey body.

Nancy said...

Eww the dripping brain. If you can afford it, take jiu jitsu, not only does it increase your ability to defend yourself, once you start regularly you lose quite a bit of weight. There are some articles about that online.