Oh F#<& ... Days 12 & 13

Guys - the last few days the wheels came off the truck and the result was as pretty big wreck.

I ate like a death row inmate having his last meal... except I've eaten like that for a few days in a row now. I've had a pretty monstrous hamburger, breakfast burrito, chocolate swiss rolls, chocolate cupcakes... you name it, I've probably had some.

I did manage to work out on Friday - my partner stood me up so my bench was without a spot so I didn't push it. I did 185 for 12 reps but after that it was all downhill. I muddled though but I can't help but feel somewhat pessimistic about the future of my diet.

I haven't been counting calories lately. The reason is obvious to me. I don't want to see the proof of my failures. I'm gonna suck it up and do it right... Monday. Tomorrow will be bad too so I won't even count that one.

Wish me luck.

Oh shnizzle

Days 10 & 11

Not much to report, I won't bore you with paragraphs on my bowel movements and fiber intake (not yet anyway) - I'll just let you know that I weighed yesterday and tipped the scales at 177.2.

Not bad.

I did have some cookies today, I had some cookies yesterday - but beyond those 300 calories snafus I think I was very disciplined.

I don't have the highest of hopes for the weekend again. I have plans that include much in the way of food. None of it healthy. I plan on working out chest again tomorrow. We'll just have to see if I'm on going to challenge for the current world record for the bench press:



I'll let you know.

A Theme Develops

Day 9

6:43 - I get up. Wow, was it hard. I stayed up late the night before watching Peyton Manning cement his status as a legend on Monday Night Football. I grab my oatmeal and head for work.

7:35 - I'm at my desk and I notice my oatmeal tastes funny... real funny. After close inspection I realize that I did not purchase the low sugar oatmeal like I usually do. Nope, instead I bought the full on sugary stuff that I'm trying to get away from. That figures. The funny thing is that I don't like it at all. I actually prefer the low sugar stuff. How weird is that?

8:09 - I eat my 5 pecans - I'm pretty hungry. Not a good sign.

9:30 - Still thinking of food. I decide to skip working out in order to eat.

11:46 - I finally take my lunch, I was supposed to meet a friend at noon but I emailed him and all but demanded we go early. He graciously agrees and for some reason all I can think about is how bad I want a hamburger - a particular hamburger.

12:05 - There is a little hamburger stand in the food court beside the First Tennessee building downtown (in Knoxville) that serves a black and blue burger that boggles my mind with it's awesomeness. Um, I'm not real sure how many calories is in that, but based on the size of the patty I don't think this is going to be good.

Realizing that I've ruined myself for the week I decide to order the crinkle fries as well. Why not? I figure if I'm going down, I might as well go down in flames.

3:00 - In the aftermath of what was a truly great lunch, I feel I have at least sort of come to grips with my sin and find myself man enough to avoid the ice cream treat that was being served at work.

I don't eat again until 7:00 - it was a lean cuisine (290 calories) and glass of wine. That's it. I still didn't count my calories, but even if that burger and fries was a 1000 calories (which it assuredly was) I'm still at around 1600 or so for the day. Not a total disaster.

In fact, I'm going to bed now, I'm full, I've had a great meal today... I think it was a good day after all.

Days 5 - 8: Hell Week

Absolute. Disaster.

That is how I would have to describe my weekend. After that late night Krystal fiasco on Friday it all went downhill. Pancakes, bacon, NY strip steak, potatoes, Italian desserts, pizza, chocolate cake... what a 48 hours I had. Needless to say, I didn't count calories this weekend. I couldn't count that high.

So I show up at work today, still silently cursing the fates that the better the food tastes, the less of it I can have. There is a cosmic joke in there somewhere, I can feel it. I don't get why it has to be that way.

Anyway, I muddle through my morning with an apple and banana for breakfast - turns out that has more calories than oatmeal. I am hungry a few minutes later and have to hit the pecans, only 5 though, those things are way to high in calories to eat more than that at one time.

By the time I get to the gym I'm have starved, I muddle though my workout and shake my head in disbelief at how I managed to be a half pound lighter (178.2) today. How the hell did that happen? Could I continue to eat like I did over the weekend and still lose weight? Maybe the calorie thing is a load of crap.

But I pounded out a passable workout and only had one real screw up - a bag of chips - and managed to get though the day with 200 calories to spare.

All in all, I'm still optimistic that this will all work itself out.

Day 4

I'm out of beer.

I knew it was going to happen, I knew I was going to run out soon. I don't drink very much. Maybe a 6 pack every 2 weeks. But I do enjoy it a great deal. I had told myself I won't be buying any for a while. At least until I get my weight down a bit. So I figured I would drink what I had and not worry about it.

I had my last one last night. Today I started thinking about that fact around lunchtime. No more beer. Once I got home I saw little point in even eating. What's the point? Without a beer to drink I couldn't think of a real reason to eat either. Sigh.

But I will find a way to move on I suppose. I'm sipping on my water now... ahhh, how refreshing. Way better than that nasty old beer.

By the way, my personal set of rules only prevents me from purchasing beer. If anyone wants to give me some I wouldn't refuse a gift. I prefer newcastle, but will drink others if I must.

Anyhow, I only consumed 1400 calories today, and I did cardio at the gym. Right now I am way ahead of my schedule for the day. So congrats to me. It's only 8:45 or so, so I still have time to totally screw up my totals. But I'll try to hold out.

Happy drinking world. I hope you enjoy it.

Oh, I hit the scales today too - 178.6 again. I told you the rest will only come off begrudgenly.

*edit* I ended up visiting with family late in the evening and having 2 cheese Krystals and a light beer. I was right at my calorie intake for the day afterwards, but it still felt like a defeat.

And The Pounds Just Keep On Melting Away

Day 3

178.6. Another pound gone. How awesome is that? I must confess that this is about what my starting weight should have been (as I explained yesterday), so what happens from here is the real test of my weight loss.

I won't be quite so long winded tonight. We had a small celebration at work and my a.m. was filled with pancakes, bacon, eggs, danishes, fruits, and all sorts of calorie and sugar rich foods.

I survived relatively unharmed in the grand scheme of things. 334 calories isn't as great as the 120 I could expect from oatmeal, but I think of how easy it would have been to have devoured 2000 if I hadn't been so diligent.

Hit the gym again today too. Wasn't exactly 'feeling it' it today, but then again, I almost never am. It was chest day and the dreaded bench press was mocking me again for being such a sissy. I decided to go down in weight a tad and see if I could squeeze off a few more reps. I pulled the bar off the rack with 205 on it with a goal of 10 reps. I wanted it bad but I just couldn't do it. Rep number 9 seemed like it took forever to get up and I could feel my triceps trembling. I know I'm not the most handsome man in the world, but I kind of like my face and I didn't want that 205 pounds to come crashing down on top of it. So I racked the weights after 9 and that was that. I managed a few more sets but I was pretty spent after that ordeal. My induction into the 300 lb bench press club will just have to wait another week.

Again, I had no dietary meltdowns today and hit my goals. Also, Taco Bell has a large number of items that are acceptable if you order appropriately. Just be aware.

A good day today, this weekend will be very challenging... I'll keep everyone posted.

A New Me... Ahead of Schedule

Day 2

8:05 a.m. Oatmeal, 120 calories. Off to a great start

10:14 a.m. Protein Bar, 180 calories. Then I'm off to the gym. I leave early to avoid temptation. I end up bumping into a coworker outside of work and talking for a while. I end up doing cardio for 15 minutes. I still feel like I ran a marathon, but I only burned around 200 calories. Damn. I'm in way worse shape than I thought I was.

The big news, I weighed at the gym and was tipping the scales at... are you ready? 179.6. That's a whopping 8 and 1/2 pounds less than Monday. Woo hoo! Losing 4 pounds a day. I'll hit my target weight in less than a week. How awesome is that?

Ok, small confession. This weight loss thing is being sponsored by my work. I had an offical weigh-in and I prepared for it. I drank a good 70 ounces of water in the 30 minutes or so before my weigh-in (you should have seen my dancing around while I was waiting for the nurse to weigh me. I had to pee so bad I could barely stand it). I wore an extra shirt, had a few dollars in change in my pocket, I even went so far to try to constipate myself for the couple of days beforehand in an effort to be as bulky as possible. I've been weighing several times a week for most of this calendar year and my weight has almost always been between 175 and 180, so today's seems pretty legit.

Still, it was encouraging enough for me, it's all about my psychological well being here after all.

12:30 p.m I had a bowl of chili. I went back and tried to figure out how many calories was in a bowl. I figured 250. So I had a bowl I brought from home and that second sugar cookie I mentioned in yesterday's post. Another 73 calories there.

3:03 p.m. I had an apple, stupid thing. 90 calories and tons of sugar.

3:24 p.m. I forgot, apples aren't very filling either, I had an oatbar too, 180 calories. Damn, these are starting to add up.

6:15 p.m. I won't be able to eat supper until pretty late tonight, I decide to pick up a small, healthy snack from Wendy's, since I'm stuck on campus until my step-son gets out of class later. I get an order of those boneless wings to tide me over.

Holy crap! Those are 550 calories? How is that possible? They didn't even almost come close to tiding me over. Gee whiz. I'm in trouble now.

8:45 p.m. I got home a few minutes earlier than I expected, the missus had a bowl of hamburger helper sitting there waiting for me. Yum! I wolfed it down and noted the calorie content. 270 calories total. Man, I should have had more. By my calculations I'm only over my goal for the day by 4 calories. That is pretty successful.

9:15 p.m. I see the wife walking around eating a chocolate swirl thing and I want one pretty bad. I bolt for the kitchen and am about to scarf one down when I realize that I don't have to give in. I can do this. I remember I have a beer in the fridge and, quite logically, realize that if I drink a beer I won't crave any sweets for the rest of the evening.

My beer is 159 calories. Well, I blew today's goals as well. No denying that now. Tomorrow will be better though. I'm sure of it.

187.8

No, it isn't my IQ. It's my weight. 187.8, now is the time to nip this little weight gain in the bud. Of course I just don't want to lose weight, but gain muscle mass and all round look like a million bucks. Right now I look ok I suppose, as long as I'm fully clothed. But once the clothes come off the blubber starts to fly.

I was tempted to start a whole new blog on the topic of my weight, but thought better of it. I'm just not prolific enough to keep two blogs running at the same time so I decided to take some time off from my diatribes against technology and the inevitable demise of humanity and focus of me for a few weeks. Time to suck it up and watch the pounds melt away.

DAY 1

I've got a plan. All I need to do is exercise much, much more, and eat much, much less. I downloaded a free app for my iPhone that will chart my progress, count my calories and even see how many calories I burn while exercising. Say good by to my man-boobs and flabby belly. I'm about to start looking good.

I start off with oatmeal, 120 calories. Excellent, to hit my target weight of 160 by Christmas I'm on a strict 1590 calorie per day diet. Breakfast is already done and I still have 1370 calories left to eat today. Easy as pie.

I decide to eat 5 pecans for a snack. I was only going to eat 4 but I couldn't easily figure out how many calories are in 4 pecan halves. So it's 5 - no problem, its only 50 calories. That small snack has me at 170 for the day at 10:30 in the morning. I'll eat a protein bar and work-out at lunch and come sliding into the afternoon with a thousand calories to spare by suppertime.

11:15 a.m. I get a pop up on my calender at work informing me of a birthday party. Damn.

It's okay, I'll swing by, wish him happy birthday and go on to the gym. Great plan. Unfortunately as soon as I walk in I can see that this clearly isn't a normal birthday. Oh hell.

This is catered - large trays of potato salad, chicken tenders, cakes, pies and so much more that no one person could conceivably sample it all. My eyes go as big as quarters as I fall back to plan B - I'll nibble on some chicken, chit chat with a few co workers and then sneak off.

The toll: 300 calories in chicken, 360 calories in potato salad, and the big kicker... 450 with key-lime pie. Shit. I'm sitting on 1100 calories in one meal! It's only 12:30 and I've got 1270 of my 1590 calories for the day already used up.

Sigh, I skip the gym, go back to my desk and sulk for the rest of the afternoon. I find that by 3:00 I'm so hungry that I'm thinking of swallowing my gum. I remember that I have sugar cookie stashed away at my desk and I consider eating it.

3:02. I ate the cookie. I google the thing and see that it is only 73 calories and I get excited and think of eating another one (I had two).

3:08. I decide not to eat the cookie, I go for the apple instead. Awesome, I resisted the second cookie with all it's sugar and calories and had a healthy apple instead. Take that temptation.

I input the apple into my iPhone and see that it has 90 calories. Apples have more calories than cookies? I check again and see that it also had 19 grams of sugars... about 4 times what was in the cookie. A damned snickers bar would have been better. Stupid apple.

4:00. Determined to not have my day be a total failure, I decide I'll do some exercise. I go to the lobby and decide to walk the stairs. I climb 10 floors before I stop. I'm exhausted and invigorated at the same time. But I did it! Take that fat.

I input my exercise into my new app and anxiously await my results. I envision that I've burned 500 or 600 calories, it sure as hell was hard enough. I'm practically heaving at the effort.

50 calories. Damn, that's about 5 pecan halves.

6:30. I'm home and ready for supper, I calculate that I have about 100 calories to expend. I see a beer in the fridge. I figure it's 125 calories minimum. Close enough.

Then I see the chili my wife made over the weekend tucked away in the fridge behind the beer. How many calories can there be in one little bowl.

6:40. Make that two bowls, er, pretty big ones at that. I decide not to record anymore...

Watch out for tomorrow, I'll take a mulligan for today.

Hall of Fame

Today is a historic day. I spent most of the late eighties and nineties in awe of Michael Jordan. In my opinion, the greatest to ever play. So I thought I would jump on the bandwagon and join the rest of the world in congratulating Michael on being inducted into the hall of fame.

A few weeks ago, a video made its rounds on the internet of Michael - a 46 year-old Michael - embarassing slamball star Chris Young.

In case you can't figure out which one is Michael, he's the guy in the blue jeans.



Awesome. It's hard to see in the video, but the only basket Jordan missed he was hit on the arm during the shot. You can hear the folks watching call the foul as he shot. Also, I found it funny that as the video goes on, you can see Chris Young put less and less effort into his defense. I figure he knew a lost cause when he saw one. Too funny.

Also, I found this video while I was looking for the Jordan clip above... watch this one from a no name NBA guy named James White.



Seriously, I've watched a lot of clips of guys who can jump, but I've never seen anything like that. I almost wanted to believe that the goal in the video was only 9 feet high. His entire head was above the rim. I dare someone show me something more impressive.

Wow.